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Primary Scripture: Philippians 2:3–5

Supporting Scripture: Proverbs 22:4; Proverbs 11:2; Proverbs 29:23; Galatians 5:22–23; Ephesians 5:21

Big Idea: Relationship Goal #2: Decide Who You’re Going to Be

This week in student ministry, we continued our Relationship Goals series by focusing on Relationship Goal #2: Decide Who You’re Going to Be. Students learned that healthy relationships don’t begin with finding the perfect person—they begin with becoming the kind of person who can love others well.

We talked about how relationships often become messy when expectations aren’t clear or when selfishness gets in the way. When people focus only on what they want, it can lead to confusion, hurt feelings, and broken trust. Students were challenged to think about their own character and the kind of person they are becoming before they focus on being in a relationship.

Looking at Philippians 2:3–5, we saw that the Apostle Paul gives a clear instruction: don’t be selfish, but instead choose humility and take a genuine interest in others. When we grow in humility, curiosity, and spiritual maturity, we become the kind of person capable of building healthy, God-honoring relationships.

We highlighted three important principles for students:

Humility Wins – Humility is the antidote to selfishness. Choosing to value others and consider their needs helps build strong and respectful relationships.

Curiosity is Caring – One of the best ways to show you care about someone is by asking thoughtful questions and listening well. Taking interest in others shows that you value them beyond surface-level attraction.

Spiritual Growth Counts – The more we grow in our relationship with Jesus, the more our lives begin to reflect His character. As the fruit of the Spirit grows in us—love, patience, kindness, self-control—we become better friends and better future dating partners.

Students were also encouraged to make three important decisions:

1. Decide to value others as much as they value themselves.

2. Decide to have honest conversations early instead of avoiding them.

3. Decide to move slowly in relationships so they can guard their hearts and keep their relationship with God first.

Ways you can support your student at home:

Ask: What does it mean to become the kind of person someone else would want to be in a relationship with?

Discuss: Why do humility and curiosity make relationships healthier?

Talk about values: Share what qualities matter most in a healthy relationship and why faith should play an important role.

Encourage spiritual growth: Help your student prioritize their relationship with Jesus through prayer, Scripture, and conversations about faith.

Our prayer is that students will focus on becoming people of character—growing in humility, caring about others, and pursuing Jesus—so that their future relationships will be healthy, honoring to God, and life-giving to everyone involved. Thank you for partnering with us as we guide students in this important area of life.